Gratitentment

WOW...It has been a loooonnnnggg time since I have blogged. I wanna say its because Ive been busy, but really its just been that I have had a little case of blog apathy. So here is a quick update on my life before I get into what I really wanna blog about...

I am on summer vacation and have had a really fun filled summer. I went on a mission trip to Romania in early May and loved it! Got to meet some amazing people and experience big change. I have made several trips to Orlando and South Florida this year as well as a trip to St. Augustine. Other then traveling, I have been working at Chartwells for the summer and have actually enjoyed it very much. I am also getting ready to start a new adventure as the children's pastor at the Roots Community Church (the church that we moved up here to plant) in August. I am so excited and cannot wait to see how God uses me to reach his children.

But now its time for me to talk the thing that was able to rid me of my blogger's block (so to speak). That topic is gratitentment (grat-i-tent-ment) (This is the combination of gratitude and contentment). I realized today while I was cleaning tables at work (I get epiphanies quite often while cleaning at work) that I have done a really good job at complaining. I have been discontent and ungrateful and have let everyone know about it. I have acted childish, throwing fits and crying when things have not gone my way (not actual like kicking and screaming fits, but more like whining Facebook status fits). I realized today how stupid this really is. If I learned anything from this past year, it is how truly blessed I am and how much God has taken care of me. Here is just a small list of things that I have to be thankful for...

1. God's love (and everything it encompasses) - I mess up daily and it is nice to know that even though I am a screwed up, ungrateful, far from perfect sinner that I still have the love, mercy, forgiveness, and relationship with the most powerful God. On top of that there is the selfless act that is son did to save me despite all that I do wrong. That in itself should be enough to get me to praise Him and be so thankful.
2. My family- I have the greatest family in the world (I know everyone says that, but that doesn't make it any less true when I say it). I have two of the hardest working parents I have ever seen who are there to help me in so many ways and provide me with everything I need. I have the coolest older sister in the world who is always there to listen to me, give me advice, and just be a friend. I also have the sweetest little brother ever. I'm serious on this one, I don't know another 16 year old boy who is as sweet and caring as my little brother. I admire that it him and feel so blessed by his kindness everyday.  Not to mention that I have two adorable puppies who happily greet me every time I come home (even thought they almost knock me down)
3. My friends- If I were to think of all the great adjectives that I know, that still would not be enough to describe all of my amazing friends. Some of them I have known for years, some of them I just met and feel like I've known them for years. Either way, these are the people who enrich my life when I'm not at home with my family. My friends make me laugh, challenge me, and make my life so much brighter.
4. My boyfriend- (Go ahead and commence with the AWWW's) My boyfriend is one of the most authentic, respectful, funny, caring and amazing men I have ever met. He is the one who I can talk to anything about, he can tall how I am feeling just by the tone of my voice and has a way of understanding me that few others have. I cannot possibly express the impact he has made on my life and how God has used him to speak to me and show me things.
5. All of my possessions- I could have listed each individual thing I own that I am thankful for (my car, my bed, my ipod, my clothes, etc) but I decided to group it all together. I am so blessed to have the things that I have. I know a lot of people who don't have the amount of stuff that I have, I have plenty of food on the table everyday, I have a closet full of cute clothes and shoes, I have a house that keeps me safe and warm, and I have lots of other gadgets that arent even necessary but are very nice (laptop, ipod, cell phone, TV). Overall, I would say that I am a little spoiled compared to what a lot of other people have.
6. My job- Last but not least is my job. I'm just thankful to have one, let alone one that I enjoy. It may not be what I am doing for the rest of my life (I certainly hope not) but it is perfect for my life right now. I get consistent hours, a flexible schedule, great co-workers, and its close to my house. I don't think I could ask for anything better.

So as you can see here from the list above (which is not a complete list, but it will do) I have a lot of things to be grateful for. So why am I constantly so complainy? It all stems from discontent. I always expect things to go how I want them to go. I want things to fit into my plan and schedule. Fortunately for me, that is not how life works. I need to constantly be reminded that my life is not up to me. (Which is a good thing because I don't always make the wisest or best decisions) God is the only one who controls my destiny and as soon as I let go of control (which is easier said then done) then that gives Him room to blow my mind and change my life. 

So from now on I am going to start each day thanking God for all He has done for me and given me. Life is too good for me to sit and complain about it. All that is going to do is fuel my discontent, deepen my distrust in God's plan, and annoy everyone around me. So its time to start living a life of gratitment.

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's will tat prevails" -Proverbs 19:21

BB

4 Months Ago (An update on my life)

I had a very reflective night tonight. I thought about the last 4 months and how much things have changed.I also realized that it has been a long time since I have written a blog. So I figured I would use this entry as a way to catch people up on my life as well as brag on God for how he has worked out everything for me in ways I never expected. So here is a quick recap of the last 4 months of my life. Lets start with the obvious...
1. Its a new year. 2011 is here and is going by fast. 
2. I have finished my first semester of college and am 3 weeks away from finishing my second. 
3. I have successfully taught in my first real class and am a third of the way to being certified as a teacher.
4. I am dating Jacob again. This was probably the most sudden and unexpected change that has happened in the past 4 months, but has also been the best.
5. I am going to Romania. I am leaving on May 7 to go on a week long mission trip and am super excited.


So now that you know the highlights of my year so far, lets get to the reflection...
I was talking to my good friend Zach tonight about how things have changed for both of us int he recent weeks and months. We were able to really sit back and think about how God has changed both of our lives for the better and has shown us that He is truly the supreme planner of our destinies. But more than that, He gave both of us an idea of what would have happened, if we would have acted on impulse and behaved in the way that we wanted or in the way we had acted in the past. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. If things would have gone down the way that I wanted them to from October to January I would probably be feuding with my two best friends; I most likely would not have gotten back together with Jacob, and another relationship would have been prevented or severely damaged. 


This just goes to show what a crazy, awesome, powerful God we serve. Although I am not trying to say that I know exactly how my life would have planned out if I had taken another path (I'm confident that it would have eventually worked out in my favor), I do know that it definitely would have been filled with a lot more drama and hardship. I am just so thankful that God knows best and that He doesn't always give us what we want.


If you would have talked to me 4 months ago and told me about how my life is now, I probably wouldn't have believed you. But looking at it now, I'm so glad that God blessed me with things that I never saw coming. I am grateful that I serve a God who has my life in His hands and who wants whats best for me, even if I don't see it yet.


I can't wait to see what God had in store for the next 4 months!


BB

Missions Minded

I had the awesome opportunity tonight to attend a prayer meeting for the missions teams. I honestly did not know what to expect and I did not go into it with a very good attitude or open heart. Thankfully God works in me despite of me. 


The first 30 minutes or so, I just went around to each teams display and prayed for the country, the needs, and the team themselves. It is crazy to think of all the hurt and need that is in these countries, not to mention in the world at large. While this part was amazing, it was what happened after that truly made this night worthwhile. Chris Owens called up the Tanzania team and we just began to pray for them and the difficult task they set out to do (They are going to build a 50 mile road). It was amazing to see the whole room gather around this team and just encourage them, pray for them, and marvel at God's glory. 


After the prayer subsided, Chris Owen asked the freshmen to raise their hands. There were a few of us, but he chose me and Jonathan to represent them. We got to the middle of the circle and were surrounded by outstretched hands and loud prayers to God. We prayed that the freshmen class would become awaken to the spirit of God. We prayed that they would feel a sense of urgency towards missions and that they would realize that today is the day. We prayed that regardless of our major, we would consider ourselves missionaries.


I think that this is a mindset that we all need to take. So many people make the excuse that they are not "called to missions", but this is just an excuse. Everyone is called to missions. Some people may go across town, some people across the country, and some people across the world. Wherever you are called to go, just go! The time is now. There is no reason to wait. We need to be a people who sees what needs to be done and does it. We need to be so excited about this good news we have, that we want to share it with everyone. Dont let excuses, or fear keep you from spreading the gospel to ALL nations. Let's get missions minded and change the world for Christ!


BB

The Proper Use of LOL

Now I usually try to have my blogs be somewhat deep and insightful, but this one will not be. It has come to my attention, through several online and texting conversations, that many people do not know the proper use of the acronym LOL.


For those of you who dont know, or perhaps forgot, LOL stands for "Laugh Out Loud". This means that whatever you wrote in front of the LOL should in fact cause laughter. But I have found that many people are beginning to use LOL as a filler for when things are awkward or seem out of place, but are not actually making me LOL.So I have decided to make a list of some examples of when NOT to use LOL and explain to you why.


1. "How are you?"... "I'm tired lol" This is not LOL worthy because not only is being in need of sleep not amusing, but is actually quite common so you cant even put it in the "unusual LOL" category.


2. "Hi!" ..."Hey lol" The return of a greeting is not funny, its polite. It does not matter how out of the ordinary the greeting may be, it still does not justify a LOL


3. "I am going swimming later".... "Oh cool. I can't swim lol" The statement of personal facts is usually not funny. It usually just justifies the other person teasing you about that fact for the rest of your life. You dont want to open yourself up to that. A more appropriate ending might be a sad emoticon. (WARNING: USE OF EMOTICON DOES NOT PREVENT YOU FROM BEING TEASED) You should probably just stick with the "Oh cool" and leave out the embarrassing details.


4. "I like you" ...""lol" This is just mean. If someone tells you any sort of feelings that are not reciprocated, even if you do actually laugh out loud, dont tell them about it.


There are so many more counter-examples I could share, but for the sake of those who said them I will not post them. Just keep this in mind: If you are laughing out loud then its ok to put LOL,  but if you think that what you are saying is awkward or will make the other person feel uncomfortable don't put LOL...actually you really just shouldn't type anything lol


BB

Poetic Encouragement

I have been really been into writing poetr in these past few weeks, and it has become a way for me to really get my feelings and thoughts down (other than this blog of course). Tonight I wrote one because I needed a real reminder of how my Father looks at me. I was in a place where I, and a few of my friends as well, just needed to be reminded that we are beatuiful and worthy, whether that boy likes us or not ;). This is that poem...

Like a single shell laying in the sand, being caressed by the waves; you are unique.
Like a pearl enclosed in a protective shell; you are valuable.
Like the first rays of the sun peaking through the clouds aand gentling warming the skin; you are appreciated.
Like the moment after the 'I Do' when the newlyweds lips finally meet, you are anticipated.
Like a best friend's listening ears, harty laugh, warm embrace; you are irreplaceable.
Like the masterpiece bringing a smile to the painter's face; you are adored.
Like the new life bundled up in the arms of a mother, you are beautiful.
Like a child who's Father gave up everything for; you are loved.
Like a gift bestowed upon the world; you are you.

I hope that this encourages you and helps you to remember that God does not make mistakes and He does not make trash. He only makes reflections of Himself.

BB

Talent Search

"But each man has his own gift from God;one has this gift,another has that." 1 Corinthians 7:7


I have been to many talent shows throughout the years. Some really good, and others not so good. But the one constant in these talent shows is the type of talent that is displayed. There is always singing, dancing, playing an instrument, acting or some other form of artistic expression. While these are all wonderful talents and are certainly worth showing off, I think that these gifts have become the very narrow scope of what is a talent.


Talent in the dictionary is defined as:

• endowment: natural abilities or qualities
• a person who possesses unusual innate ability in some field or activity

But most often in society, we limit what is a talent and what is not. There are many other talented people who would never picked up a microphone, instrument, paint brush or a piece if sports equipment. There are people who have been gifted with talents that cannot be displayed in a talent show and that may even go unnoticed.

Romans 12: 6-8 talks a lot about some of these unrecognized, but equally as important talents.

"We have different gifts, according to the gifts given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion of his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if its teaching, let him teach; if its encouraging, let him encourage; if its contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

God gave us all unique gifts, and not just the ones that are obvious and can be displayed. But it is so easy for us (myself included) to limit our scope of what it means to be talented. I am at a school where pretty much everyone can do something in the artistic field (many of them can do more than one) so it can become very discouraging when I remember that although I do enjoy theater, singing, and the occasional writing of a poem; these are not my main talents. But I find hope in that verse in Romans when it mentions teaching as a gift (or talent) from God. This is the talent that I fell I am truly called to use and grow. 

So don't think that because you cant paint, act, sing or play an instrument that you are not talented. The truth is that God has gifted ALL of us with different things to be good at. When we try to pick and choose our talents, because we feel like ours are not good enough, we are essentially telling God that He does not know what He was doing or that He screwed up somewhere (which, I assure you, He did not). If we spend all of our time trying to develop the talents that we find to be the most "culturally acceptable", than we are could miss out on uncovering our true talent.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you are talented in the arts, or sports, or something talent show worthy, THATS GREAT! That is what God has gifted you with. All I am saying is that, not everyone is meant to be the next great actress, musician, or pro athlete. Some of us are meant to be the next great encourager, leader, teacher, or servant. 

Figure out what your God given talent is, and spend time developing it and praying about how you can use that talent to glorify God. Do not go through your life limiting your potential, because you limited your talent.

BB

Trials and Error

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" - James 1:2-4

This is a hard concept for me to grasp. I have always struggled with finding joy in my suffering. Unfortunately, my response to trials and suffering is to cry to my closest friends, then maybe write an angry journal entry to God complaining about how unfair my life  is and how hard He is making it for me. In fact, I am usually really good at finding reasons to not be joyful;I go back to how I have been hurt in the past, I fall into doubt and insecurity, and I begin to pick out every reason in my life why God does not want me to be happy.

The ironic thing is that I know how wrong these things are. I am so full of head knowledge; I can spout all the right answers and even give advice to people who are dealing with the same thing I am, but for some reason I cannot make it stick. I feel like I am in a never ending rut of doubt, mistrust, denial, confusion, chaos, and insecurity. I know that I have the hand of Christ reaching out to me to get out of this rut, but I make very little effort to actually grab his hand.  Its a funny place to be (but not the haha kind of funny, funny like ironic and a little stupid kinda funny). This blatant disregard and apathetic response to God's rescue not only disgusted me, but it frustrated me. I know exactly what my problem is and I know the solution, but I choose to just sit and wallow in my self pity. I get frustrated that I am foolish, I get frustrated that I am struggling, I get frustrated on the fact that I am not ok. This frustration, as well as my anger, fluctuates between me and God.

Through the many trials and difficulties that I have had in the past several months however, God has showed me many things and I have grown a lot in maturity and wisdom. But it is still so easy for me to get caught up in all the crap that is in my life and on how miserable I feel.  I think I have cried more these past 5 months then I have in my entire lifetime. (I say that not to get sympathy, but just to be honest). 

Ok, so now that I have gotten really sad and probably damped your mood a bit (sorry) I will give you the good news. I am not perfect. Yup thats the good news. God understands this and does not expect me to be. It is only myself that puts those standards on me. The only thing that He expects me to do is run to Him, love Him and serve Him. Now all I need to do is figure out how to make this my daily priority. But how?

I need to put the kind of importance on God that I put on friends, school, goals, TV, or anything else. If I can make this a habit, and begin to turn to God first and spend more time with Him, then everything else will fall into place. This is going to be a journey, but one that I need to take. I need to stop crying and start praying. I need to get out of my hole and get on the road. I need to let go of everything else that I am holding  and grab on to my Saviors hand and hold it tightly. That is the only way that I will ever get out of my little rut and finally be filled with the peace and joy of Christ Jesus.

BB