I had a very reflective night tonight. I thought about the last 4 months and how much things have changed.I also realized that it has been a long time since I have written a blog. So I figured I would use this entry as a way to catch people up on my life as well as brag on God for how he has worked out everything for me in ways I never expected. So here is a quick recap of the last 4 months of my life. Lets start with the obvious...
1. Its a new year. 2011 is here and is going by fast.
2. I have finished my first semester of college and am 3 weeks away from finishing my second.
3. I have successfully taught in my first real class and am a third of the way to being certified as a teacher.
4. I am dating Jacob again. This was probably the most sudden and unexpected change that has happened in the past 4 months, but has also been the best.
5. I am going to Romania. I am leaving on May 7 to go on a week long mission trip and am super excited.
So now that you know the highlights of my year so far, lets get to the reflection...
I was talking to my good friend Zach tonight about how things have changed for both of us int he recent weeks and months. We were able to really sit back and think about how God has changed both of our lives for the better and has shown us that He is truly the supreme planner of our destinies. But more than that, He gave both of us an idea of what would have happened, if we would have acted on impulse and behaved in the way that we wanted or in the way we had acted in the past. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. If things would have gone down the way that I wanted them to from October to January I would probably be feuding with my two best friends; I most likely would not have gotten back together with Jacob, and another relationship would have been prevented or severely damaged.
This just goes to show what a crazy, awesome, powerful God we serve. Although I am not trying to say that I know exactly how my life would have planned out if I had taken another path (I'm confident that it would have eventually worked out in my favor), I do know that it definitely would have been filled with a lot more drama and hardship. I am just so thankful that God knows best and that He doesn't always give us what we want.
If you would have talked to me 4 months ago and told me about how my life is now, I probably wouldn't have believed you. But looking at it now, I'm so glad that God blessed me with things that I never saw coming. I am grateful that I serve a God who has my life in His hands and who wants whats best for me, even if I don't see it yet.
I can't wait to see what God had in store for the next 4 months!
BB
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Missions Minded
I had the awesome opportunity tonight to attend a prayer meeting for the missions teams. I honestly did not know what to expect and I did not go into it with a very good attitude or open heart. Thankfully God works in me despite of me.
The first 30 minutes or so, I just went around to each teams display and prayed for the country, the needs, and the team themselves. It is crazy to think of all the hurt and need that is in these countries, not to mention in the world at large. While this part was amazing, it was what happened after that truly made this night worthwhile. Chris Owens called up the Tanzania team and we just began to pray for them and the difficult task they set out to do (They are going to build a 50 mile road). It was amazing to see the whole room gather around this team and just encourage them, pray for them, and marvel at God's glory.
After the prayer subsided, Chris Owen asked the freshmen to raise their hands. There were a few of us, but he chose me and Jonathan to represent them. We got to the middle of the circle and were surrounded by outstretched hands and loud prayers to God. We prayed that the freshmen class would become awaken to the spirit of God. We prayed that they would feel a sense of urgency towards missions and that they would realize that today is the day. We prayed that regardless of our major, we would consider ourselves missionaries.
I think that this is a mindset that we all need to take. So many people make the excuse that they are not "called to missions", but this is just an excuse. Everyone is called to missions. Some people may go across town, some people across the country, and some people across the world. Wherever you are called to go, just go! The time is now. There is no reason to wait. We need to be a people who sees what needs to be done and does it. We need to be so excited about this good news we have, that we want to share it with everyone. Dont let excuses, or fear keep you from spreading the gospel to ALL nations. Let's get missions minded and change the world for Christ!
BB
The first 30 minutes or so, I just went around to each teams display and prayed for the country, the needs, and the team themselves. It is crazy to think of all the hurt and need that is in these countries, not to mention in the world at large. While this part was amazing, it was what happened after that truly made this night worthwhile. Chris Owens called up the Tanzania team and we just began to pray for them and the difficult task they set out to do (They are going to build a 50 mile road). It was amazing to see the whole room gather around this team and just encourage them, pray for them, and marvel at God's glory.
After the prayer subsided, Chris Owen asked the freshmen to raise their hands. There were a few of us, but he chose me and Jonathan to represent them. We got to the middle of the circle and were surrounded by outstretched hands and loud prayers to God. We prayed that the freshmen class would become awaken to the spirit of God. We prayed that they would feel a sense of urgency towards missions and that they would realize that today is the day. We prayed that regardless of our major, we would consider ourselves missionaries.
I think that this is a mindset that we all need to take. So many people make the excuse that they are not "called to missions", but this is just an excuse. Everyone is called to missions. Some people may go across town, some people across the country, and some people across the world. Wherever you are called to go, just go! The time is now. There is no reason to wait. We need to be a people who sees what needs to be done and does it. We need to be so excited about this good news we have, that we want to share it with everyone. Dont let excuses, or fear keep you from spreading the gospel to ALL nations. Let's get missions minded and change the world for Christ!
BB
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Proper Use of LOL
Now I usually try to have my blogs be somewhat deep and insightful, but this one will not be. It has come to my attention, through several online and texting conversations, that many people do not know the proper use of the acronym LOL.
For those of you who dont know, or perhaps forgot, LOL stands for "Laugh Out Loud". This means that whatever you wrote in front of the LOL should in fact cause laughter. But I have found that many people are beginning to use LOL as a filler for when things are awkward or seem out of place, but are not actually making me LOL.So I have decided to make a list of some examples of when NOT to use LOL and explain to you why.
1. "How are you?"... "I'm tired lol" This is not LOL worthy because not only is being in need of sleep not amusing, but is actually quite common so you cant even put it in the "unusual LOL" category.
2. "Hi!" ..."Hey lol" The return of a greeting is not funny, its polite. It does not matter how out of the ordinary the greeting may be, it still does not justify a LOL
3. "I am going swimming later".... "Oh cool. I can't swim lol" The statement of personal facts is usually not funny. It usually just justifies the other person teasing you about that fact for the rest of your life. You dont want to open yourself up to that. A more appropriate ending might be a sad emoticon. (WARNING: USE OF EMOTICON DOES NOT PREVENT YOU FROM BEING TEASED) You should probably just stick with the "Oh cool" and leave out the embarrassing details.
4. "I like you" ...""lol" This is just mean. If someone tells you any sort of feelings that are not reciprocated, even if you do actually laugh out loud, dont tell them about it.
There are so many more counter-examples I could share, but for the sake of those who said them I will not post them. Just keep this in mind: If you are laughing out loud then its ok to put LOL, but if you think that what you are saying is awkward or will make the other person feel uncomfortable don't put LOL...actually you really just shouldn't type anything lol
BB
For those of you who dont know, or perhaps forgot, LOL stands for "Laugh Out Loud". This means that whatever you wrote in front of the LOL should in fact cause laughter. But I have found that many people are beginning to use LOL as a filler for when things are awkward or seem out of place, but are not actually making me LOL.So I have decided to make a list of some examples of when NOT to use LOL and explain to you why.
1. "How are you?"... "I'm tired lol" This is not LOL worthy because not only is being in need of sleep not amusing, but is actually quite common so you cant even put it in the "unusual LOL" category.
2. "Hi!" ..."Hey lol" The return of a greeting is not funny, its polite. It does not matter how out of the ordinary the greeting may be, it still does not justify a LOL
3. "I am going swimming later".... "Oh cool. I can't swim lol" The statement of personal facts is usually not funny. It usually just justifies the other person teasing you about that fact for the rest of your life. You dont want to open yourself up to that. A more appropriate ending might be a sad emoticon. (WARNING: USE OF EMOTICON DOES NOT PREVENT YOU FROM BEING TEASED) You should probably just stick with the "Oh cool" and leave out the embarrassing details.
4. "I like you" ...""lol" This is just mean. If someone tells you any sort of feelings that are not reciprocated, even if you do actually laugh out loud, dont tell them about it.
There are so many more counter-examples I could share, but for the sake of those who said them I will not post them. Just keep this in mind: If you are laughing out loud then its ok to put LOL, but if you think that what you are saying is awkward or will make the other person feel uncomfortable don't put LOL...actually you really just shouldn't type anything lol
BB
Friday, February 11, 2011
Poetic Encouragement
I have been really been into writing poetr in these past few weeks, and it has become a way for me to really get my feelings and thoughts down (other than this blog of course). Tonight I wrote one because I needed a real reminder of how my Father looks at me. I was in a place where I, and a few of my friends as well, just needed to be reminded that we are beatuiful and worthy, whether that boy likes us or not ;). This is that poem...
Like a single shell laying in the sand, being caressed by the waves; you are unique.
Like a pearl enclosed in a protective shell; you are valuable.
Like the first rays of the sun peaking through the clouds aand gentling warming the skin; you are appreciated.
Like the moment after the 'I Do' when the newlyweds lips finally meet, you are anticipated.
Like a best friend's listening ears, harty laugh, warm embrace; you are irreplaceable.
Like the masterpiece bringing a smile to the painter's face; you are adored.
Like the new life bundled up in the arms of a mother, you are beautiful.
Like a child who's Father gave up everything for; you are loved.
Like a gift bestowed upon the world; you are you.
I hope that this encourages you and helps you to remember that God does not make mistakes and He does not make trash. He only makes reflections of Himself.
BB
Like a single shell laying in the sand, being caressed by the waves; you are unique.
Like a pearl enclosed in a protective shell; you are valuable.
Like the first rays of the sun peaking through the clouds aand gentling warming the skin; you are appreciated.
Like the moment after the 'I Do' when the newlyweds lips finally meet, you are anticipated.
Like a best friend's listening ears, harty laugh, warm embrace; you are irreplaceable.
Like the masterpiece bringing a smile to the painter's face; you are adored.
Like the new life bundled up in the arms of a mother, you are beautiful.
Like a child who's Father gave up everything for; you are loved.
Like a gift bestowed upon the world; you are you.
I hope that this encourages you and helps you to remember that God does not make mistakes and He does not make trash. He only makes reflections of Himself.
BB
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Talent Search
"But each man has his own gift from God;one has this gift,another has that." 1 Corinthians 7:7
I have been to many talent shows throughout the years. Some really good, and others not so good. But the one constant in these talent shows is the type of talent that is displayed. There is always singing, dancing, playing an instrument, acting or some other form of artistic expression. While these are all wonderful talents and are certainly worth showing off, I think that these gifts have become the very narrow scope of what is a talent.
Talent in the dictionary is defined as:
I have been to many talent shows throughout the years. Some really good, and others not so good. But the one constant in these talent shows is the type of talent that is displayed. There is always singing, dancing, playing an instrument, acting or some other form of artistic expression. While these are all wonderful talents and are certainly worth showing off, I think that these gifts have become the very narrow scope of what is a talent.
Talent in the dictionary is defined as:
- endowment: natural abilities or qualities
- a person who possesses unusual innate ability in some field or activity
But most often in society, we limit what is a talent and what is not. There are many other talented people who would never picked up a microphone, instrument, paint brush or a piece if sports equipment. There are people who have been gifted with talents that cannot be displayed in a talent show and that may even go unnoticed.
Romans 12: 6-8 talks a lot about some of these unrecognized, but equally as important talents.
"We have different gifts, according to the gifts given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion of his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if its teaching, let him teach; if its encouraging, let him encourage; if its contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."
God gave us all unique gifts, and not just the ones that are obvious and can be displayed. But it is so easy for us (myself included) to limit our scope of what it means to be talented. I am at a school where pretty much everyone can do something in the artistic field (many of them can do more than one) so it can become very discouraging when I remember that although I do enjoy theater, singing, and the occasional writing of a poem; these are not my main talents. But I find hope in that verse in Romans when it mentions teaching as a gift (or talent) from God. This is the talent that I fell I am truly called to use and grow.
So don't think that because you cant paint, act, sing or play an instrument that you are not talented. The truth is that God has gifted ALL of us with different things to be good at. When we try to pick and choose our talents, because we feel like ours are not good enough, we are essentially telling God that He does not know what He was doing or that He screwed up somewhere (which, I assure you, He did not). If we spend all of our time trying to develop the talents that we find to be the most "culturally acceptable", than we are could miss out on uncovering our true talent.
Now, don't get me wrong. If you are talented in the arts, or sports, or something talent show worthy, THATS GREAT! That is what God has gifted you with. All I am saying is that, not everyone is meant to be the next great actress, musician, or pro athlete. Some of us are meant to be the next great encourager, leader, teacher, or servant.
Figure out what your God given talent is, and spend time developing it and praying about how you can use that talent to glorify God. Do not go through your life limiting your potential, because you limited your talent.
BB
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Trials and Error
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" - James 1:2-4
This is a hard concept for me to grasp. I have always struggled with finding joy in my suffering. Unfortunately, my response to trials and suffering is to cry to my closest friends, then maybe write an angry journal entry to God complaining about how unfair my life is and how hard He is making it for me. In fact, I am usually really good at finding reasons to not be joyful;I go back to how I have been hurt in the past, I fall into doubt and insecurity, and I begin to pick out every reason in my life why God does not want me to be happy.
The ironic thing is that I know how wrong these things are. I am so full of head knowledge; I can spout all the right answers and even give advice to people who are dealing with the same thing I am, but for some reason I cannot make it stick. I feel like I am in a never ending rut of doubt, mistrust, denial, confusion, chaos, and insecurity. I know that I have the hand of Christ reaching out to me to get out of this rut, but I make very little effort to actually grab his hand. Its a funny place to be (but not the haha kind of funny, funny like ironic and a little stupid kinda funny). This blatant disregard and apathetic response to God's rescue not only disgusted me, but it frustrated me. I know exactly what my problem is and I know the solution, but I choose to just sit and wallow in my self pity. I get frustrated that I am foolish, I get frustrated that I am struggling, I get frustrated on the fact that I am not ok. This frustration, as well as my anger, fluctuates between me and God.
Through the many trials and difficulties that I have had in the past several months however, God has showed me many things and I have grown a lot in maturity and wisdom. But it is still so easy for me to get caught up in all the crap that is in my life and on how miserable I feel. I think I have cried more these past 5 months then I have in my entire lifetime. (I say that not to get sympathy, but just to be honest).
Ok, so now that I have gotten really sad and probably damped your mood a bit (sorry) I will give you the good news. I am not perfect. Yup thats the good news. God understands this and does not expect me to be. It is only myself that puts those standards on me. The only thing that He expects me to do is run to Him, love Him and serve Him. Now all I need to do is figure out how to make this my daily priority. But how?
I need to put the kind of importance on God that I put on friends, school, goals, TV, or anything else. If I can make this a habit, and begin to turn to God first and spend more time with Him, then everything else will fall into place. This is going to be a journey, but one that I need to take. I need to stop crying and start praying. I need to get out of my hole and get on the road. I need to let go of everything else that I am holding and grab on to my Saviors hand and hold it tightly. That is the only way that I will ever get out of my little rut and finally be filled with the peace and joy of Christ Jesus.
BB
Friday, January 28, 2011
Spiritual Sprinter
I taught in Sunday school this week about determination. Our memory verse for that week was Jeremiah 12:1 "Let us keep running the race marked out for us". This is a verse that I had heard many times.It came to a point where comparing life to a race had become just another cliché. But as I began to talk last night with one of my friends about what I was struggling with, the only metaphor that I could use was one of a runner and a race.
I ran track for one season in 7th grade. My main event was the 100 meter hurdles (mostly because that was the ONLY event I could do). I told the coach my first day of practice that I was a sprinter, I was incapable of running the distance. However, on at one particular meet coach decided to "expand my skills" and put me in the 4x400 . This is an event where there are 4 members and each one has to run 1 lap and then pass the baton. Although 1 lap is really not that great of a distance, when you are used to only running a fourth of that, it can seem like a huge distance. I was the first leg of the relay and held a solid last place for my whole lap.When I got to the last 100 meters, I was slightly motivated because this was a distance I was used to. I began to pick up speed, getting almost to a full sprint. Just a few feet from the finish line, I began to feel the effects of this last attempt to gain some ground. Me legs were burning, I had a cramp and I was breathing really heavy. What was a sprint, turned into a jog and eventually a speed walk across the finish line. I handed the baton to my partner, who was visibly upset with me, then went straight to the grass beside the track to lay down. I must have stayed there for a good five minutes, until I felt all the pain in my body fade away. Then I jumped up with a new energy and watched all my teammates get their awards.
This anecdote reveals a lot about me. One, I suck at track. Two, as soon as things get hard I give up. The irony of this realization is that I was teaching my Sunday school class that they needed to do the opposite. Our main point was that "even when things get hard, we need to keep going".
As I was talking to my friend last night I realized that I am the same spiritually as I was physically that day at the track meet. I do a really good job of running and doing the things that God called me to do. Then as soon as I feel the slightest pain or things seem to hard, I stop running and rest. It is during these times of rest that Satan choses to remind me of all my insecurities and worries. I get overwhelmed with jealousy, sadness, and lack of confidence. But instead of fighting these thoughts off (like I can when I am running towards God), I choose to let them consume my life because I am too tired. I choose to justify them and accept their truth, just cause it is easier than having to stand up against them. I get spiritually lazy and tired.
Much like running a track, you build more endurance the longer you run. It takes time, but eventually you are able to run more an more with less and less difficulty. But if you never build up that endurance, then every time you run, it is hard. It is the same thing spiritually. If you run towards God, follow his ways, fight off temptation, and make a habit of talking to him, then you can build up your spiritual endurance, so that as soon as you feel that cramp, you have the strength and experience to know that you just have to run through it. However, if you are only a spiritual sprinter, then as soon as your short distance is over, you stop and wait for the next little burst. When I used to run track, we used to have to run a mile and a half for warm up. Every practice I would ask the coach why I had to run such long distances of I was a sprinter. His response was the same every time: "You need to be more than a sprinter, you need to be a runner. In order to do this, you need to run". This same phrase can apply to me spiritually as well. I do not need to be a spiritual sprinter, I need to be a spiritual cross-country star. I need to keep running even when the terrain gets difficult or my legs hurt of I get a cramp. God called me to have the determination to continue on the path that he has for me, and I cant be on that path if I am too bust laying in the grass beside the path waiting for things to get better...
BB
I ran track for one season in 7th grade. My main event was the 100 meter hurdles (mostly because that was the ONLY event I could do). I told the coach my first day of practice that I was a sprinter, I was incapable of running the distance. However, on at one particular meet coach decided to "expand my skills" and put me in the 4x400 . This is an event where there are 4 members and each one has to run 1 lap and then pass the baton. Although 1 lap is really not that great of a distance, when you are used to only running a fourth of that, it can seem like a huge distance. I was the first leg of the relay and held a solid last place for my whole lap.When I got to the last 100 meters, I was slightly motivated because this was a distance I was used to. I began to pick up speed, getting almost to a full sprint. Just a few feet from the finish line, I began to feel the effects of this last attempt to gain some ground. Me legs were burning, I had a cramp and I was breathing really heavy. What was a sprint, turned into a jog and eventually a speed walk across the finish line. I handed the baton to my partner, who was visibly upset with me, then went straight to the grass beside the track to lay down. I must have stayed there for a good five minutes, until I felt all the pain in my body fade away. Then I jumped up with a new energy and watched all my teammates get their awards.
This anecdote reveals a lot about me. One, I suck at track. Two, as soon as things get hard I give up. The irony of this realization is that I was teaching my Sunday school class that they needed to do the opposite. Our main point was that "even when things get hard, we need to keep going".
As I was talking to my friend last night I realized that I am the same spiritually as I was physically that day at the track meet. I do a really good job of running and doing the things that God called me to do. Then as soon as I feel the slightest pain or things seem to hard, I stop running and rest. It is during these times of rest that Satan choses to remind me of all my insecurities and worries. I get overwhelmed with jealousy, sadness, and lack of confidence. But instead of fighting these thoughts off (like I can when I am running towards God), I choose to let them consume my life because I am too tired. I choose to justify them and accept their truth, just cause it is easier than having to stand up against them. I get spiritually lazy and tired.
Much like running a track, you build more endurance the longer you run. It takes time, but eventually you are able to run more an more with less and less difficulty. But if you never build up that endurance, then every time you run, it is hard. It is the same thing spiritually. If you run towards God, follow his ways, fight off temptation, and make a habit of talking to him, then you can build up your spiritual endurance, so that as soon as you feel that cramp, you have the strength and experience to know that you just have to run through it. However, if you are only a spiritual sprinter, then as soon as your short distance is over, you stop and wait for the next little burst. When I used to run track, we used to have to run a mile and a half for warm up. Every practice I would ask the coach why I had to run such long distances of I was a sprinter. His response was the same every time: "You need to be more than a sprinter, you need to be a runner. In order to do this, you need to run". This same phrase can apply to me spiritually as well. I do not need to be a spiritual sprinter, I need to be a spiritual cross-country star. I need to keep running even when the terrain gets difficult or my legs hurt of I get a cramp. God called me to have the determination to continue on the path that he has for me, and I cant be on that path if I am too bust laying in the grass beside the path waiting for things to get better...
BB
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